memories

Dear ASCAF, it has been one year and four months we become not more than just strangers. But, why is it so hard for me to accept the faith and the fact that you are not mine anymore? why is it so hard to let you go, to chase you away from my life, to forget all the memories that we created together, to delete the precious moment that we spent together, to pause our videos that have been playing on my mind and to stop loving, missing and thinking of you? yaa.. i have no answers for all those questions... it's just like a big monster, living inside my body. as day passed by, and the river started to flow, the monster inside me had started to grow. it was secret that i kept for such a long time. it was endurance pain as it has been killing me slowly all these times. this monster is torturing me and i know that i would never be in peace until the day that this monster leaves. the day when i can truly accept the fact that we are not faith together. hopefully.. when the day comes, i will be free from the monster that has been making my heart weeps. you would guessed that i am still hurt. yes, you would know. but i am not sure whether you would pretend to care or you would simply turn your back away from me. i want Neither from you. The truth is i have gave you my trust, but you gave me lies. i gave you happiness but you slapped me with sadness. i gave you my most beautiful smile, yet, you gave me, the ugliest scars on my heart. i's just a matter of time before the monster inside of me released herself. until then i will keep my heads up, and pretend that i have move on. because, my dear, pretending will eventually leads to reality. xoxo yats.